Bad Girl SVU Version
by toybembry
Summary: Olivia battles personal problems as she and Elliot race to find a serial killer. Final Chapters are up!
1. Chapter 1

Bad Girl (Lyrics by Madonna) -------------------------

Something's missing and I don't know why

I always feel the need to hide my feelings from you

Is it me or you that I'm afraid of

I tell myself I'll show you what I'm made of

Can't bring myself to let you go

I don't want to cause you any pain

But I love you just the same

And you'll always be my baby

In my heart I know we've come apart

And I don't know where to start

What can I do, I don't wanna feel blue

Bad girl drunk by six

Kissing someone else's lips

Smoked too many cigarettes today

I'm not happy when I act this way

Bad girl drunk by six

Kissing some kind stranger's lips

Smoked too many cigarettes today

I'm not happy, I'm not happy

Something's happened and I can't go back

I fall apart every time you hand your heart out to me

What happens now, I know I don't deserve you

I wonder how I'm ever gonna hurt you

Can't bring myself to let you go

This way

I'm not happy this way

This way

I'm not happy this way

Kissing some kind stranger's lips

CHAPTER ONE

"Mother, for the last time…"

"Ah, come on Olivia," Serena pleaded, rolling her eyes. "Everybody's going to be there, and they don't believe I really have a daughter."

"Now, why would they think that?" Olivia asked sweetly.

"You and that smart lip," Serena said, just as sugary. "Can't you show your face just once? It's not like it's gonna kill you."

"Mom, listen carefully: This is me, telling you, not a chance. For the last time."

Serena stared at Olivia, frustrated. Unsteadily, she did an about face and stormed off to her room. Olivia sighed wearily. Having her mother as a roommate was proving more and more tiresome, she thought unhappily. Once again, her mother had fallen to some hard times and pleaded with Olivia to let her stay until she could get on her feet. And for some reason "getting on her feet" required getting so wasted she couldn't stay on them.

Glancing at her watch, Olivia realized she was going to be late for work if she didn't get a move on. She searched frantically for her jacket. Lately, she couldn't seem to keep track of her belongings.

"Mom? Have you seen my jacket?"

Her question was answered with a loud smack of an object hitting the bedroom door.

"Whatever," she muttered to herself. Dammit, she thought. She couldn't find it anywhere and she loved that jacket. It was suede too. Dammit.

"Shouldn't you be leaving now?" Serena bellowed from behind the shut door. "Isn't there a world out there to be saved?"

Ignoring her mother, she took one last cursory look around the apartment before throwing her hands up in defeat.

"See you tonight," she called half-heartedly, exiting the apartment.

×××××××××

"Hey, let's get started," Captain Cragen called, waving his hands for quiet. The detectives of the 16th precinct took their seats. Cragen quickly scanned a copy of the announcements.

"Okay, we've had another body pop up last night," he said as the room groaned collectively. Havoc was wreaking all over the city. It was the sixth murder in eight weeks in their precinct. Three of the victims were females, white, between the ages of 55 and 70. The other three victims were white males, between the ages of 22 and 65. While the method of killing varied, each body was found completely naked except for duct tape in the shape of an "x" taped across their mouths and genital areas. The cops and detectives of the 16th had been scrambling around, desperately trying to drum up clues as to who was responsible for the horrific killings, if in fact they were truly connected or if a copycat killer was at play.

"I may be old, but a least I'm not an old woman," Detective John Munch quipped to the assembled group. Everyone groaned on key.

"The paper is hinting towards a serial killer," Detective Elliot Stabler supplied. "Is that officially the case?"

Cragen hesitated. "Officially, no."

"But."

"But, I would be extra careful if I fit the description of the victims," Cragen said carefully.

"What description?" Elliot ground out, frustrated. "There doesn't seem to be much of a commonality between any of the victims, especially the male victims."

"Hide your mothers," Munch suggested. "I hear Florida is good this time of year."

"Well, ain't you helpful," said Detective Odafin Tutuola, Munch's partner. "I hear Florida is a good place for paranoid's this time of year."

"You mother has nothing to worry about Fin."

Elliot and Olivia chuckled at the familiar banter between Fin and Munch. About as different as night and day, the twosome fed off each other seamlessly. Almost like Olivia and Elliot. Almost

"Alright, alright, eyes and ears open out their people," Cragen said, closing out the meeting. He turned to his four top detectives. "What have you got for me?"

"We have a potential witness to the third murder that popped up on the canvas," said Elliot. "Olivia and are going to head out to Rockaway for an interview."

"Good, see if anything new pops up," said Cragen. "In the meantime, I have a date with the police commissioner and the mayor. Let's try to get a handle on this one, okay?"

Fin and Munch shared a few more jabs before parting ways. Outside in the sedan, Elliot turned to Olivia. "Hel-lo. Earth to Benson, come in."

Olivia glanced at her partner. "What El?"

"You've said about two words since you came into the house."

Olivia shrugged. "I lost my jacket, I'm a little pissed."

"The brown suede one? I like that one on you. Didn't you lose, like, some pair of earrings the other day?" He asked absently, unlocking the car door.

Olivia shook her head wearily. "I'm losing my mind Elliot."

"No, you're just getting old!" Elliot chimed in cheerfully.

Olivia shot him the death look as they pulled out into the city.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Sasha blew the smoke from her mouth towards the ceiling of the bar. What a dive, she thought surveying the place and its patrons. She tapped her long, pink fingernails against the scarred surface as she signaled for another drink. Mmmm, vodka and tonic, she thought, unconsciously licking her lips. Makes me feel sultry.

She took a sip of the concoction as she again studied her fellow bar companions. Her eyes scanned the possibilities. No, no, no. Maybe. Her eyes rested on a rather large fellow by the pool table. The buttons of his shirt strained against his massive girth. Sasha thought about this carefully. He was a bit too fat for her taste, but she had been sitting in the bar for over an hour and was getting impatient. She watched as he wiped the sweat from his brow before grabbing his beer, spitting crudely towards his opponent who was putting him, and his money, away. She smiled. What the hell.

Sasha downed her drink and fluffed her hair. Slowly she approached the hulk, making sure to sashay as she walked. She stopped next to his beer.

"Hey," she said in her deep, sultry voice. "I can think of better ways to spend your money."

The man blinked in confusion and looked around. Seeing that she was actually talking to him, his eyes settled back on her. "What the fuck, you want? I don't pay for no broad," he snarled.

His crudeness made her smile wider. "What's your name, big boy?"

Still confused, he decided to engage the chick. He had to admit, she was a fine piece of ass. "Tom. Tom Warner."

Hello Tom. "Need a new partner? I'm pretty good at games."

Tom watched as she perched on the corner of the table, exposing about three inches of thigh in the process. His opponent nearly dropped his cue. "Sure, a man could always use a good partner," he said wolfishly. "Take a hike dickhead."

Sasha smiled. Good-bye Tom.

×××××××××

"Oh, this is getting out of hand," Olivia remarked as Elliot pulled up to the crime scene. News vans, reporters and camera people were straining against the police barriers trying to get a photo, a sound bite, anything. They were in an abandoned parking lot, not too far away from an elementary school.

"The serial tapist strikes again," Elliot deadpanned humorously.

"It's not funny El," Olivia said sharply as they climbed out of the sedan. They were immediately peppered with questions from the animated reporters. The detectives expertly ignored them and joined Fin, Munch and Cragen as they headed towards the body.

"Maybe it's not so much who they are, but what they said to the attacker," Munch theorized, "and the killer felt that he was doing us all a favor."

"If that were the case, you'd be dead and buried by now," said Fin.

They came up to where the body lied. The dead man resembled a beached whale, brilliantly white and smooth. His eyes stared up sightlessly, his mouth and genitals taped. He was lying in a heap, as if he were unceremoniously dumped there without a second thought. A long, slim rope trailed from around his neck.

"Tom Warner, 36, former resident of 567 Brighton Ave," M.E. Tamara Warner announced to the group. "Cause of death appears to be strangulation."

"Time of death?" Cragen asked.

"Sometime last night would be my unofficial answer," Warner answered. "I'll know more when I get him on the table."

Cragen and Warner discussed more of the details as Olivia stared at the corpse. She was filled with horror and dread. Feeling a hand on her arm, she jumped. Elliot looked at her concerned.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah," she stammered, trying to keep her eyes off the unfortunate fellow.

"Come on. The captain wants us to start canvassing."

She nodded, following her partner, taking one last look at Tom Warner. She couldn't quite shake the feeling of foreboding that gripped her.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Olivia watched from her seat on the sofa as her mother stumbled through the door. She could smell the booze from her position and her lip curled in disgust.

"Had a good time?"

Serena looked up quickly, willing her body to still. "Livia, hey Livia," she slurred, "watcha doin' up so late, huh? You gotta get ya beauty sleep ya know. Ya don't wanna be old and ugly, ya know." She tried her best to adopt a stern look.

"I thought you said you were working a double," Olivia said quietly, not a question.

"I was!" she exclaimed. After Serena had lost her job at the University, she was putting in time as a restaurant hostess. "A double of tequila, a double of schnapps, a double of jager…" she trailed off, cracking up over her joke.

"There's a serial killer running around out there," Olivia warned sternly, "you might want to be more careful about your little drinking jaunts."  
"Serial killer?" Serena asked, astonished. "I ain't 'fraid of no serial killer. I'd kick me some serial killer ass, I'd-"

"Go to bed Serena," Olivia interrupted. She smiled and nodded, stumbling towards the back of the apartment. Olivia put her head in her hands and silently cried.

×××××××××

"…and having to wake up next to the stench. The least she could do is pass out in the bathtub."

Elliot looked at his partner in sympathy. Serena was falling into the bottle again and the strain was starting to show on Olivia's face and posture. He felt helpless as he watched her struggle to hide her pain and despair behind the anger. They were dining at Ricardo's on break from the intense evidence search. The city was leaning hard on the police department to find a break in "The Duct Tape Killer" case.

"What about AA?" Elliot suggested. "It seemed to work for her last time."

"Obviously not if she's drinking not one year later," Olivia snapped. She immediately regretted her tone. It wasn't as if her partner didn't have problems of his own, thanks to his impending divorce.

Elliot reached over and rubbed Olivia's shoulder. She closed her eyes, wishing herself away, far, far away. When she opened her eyes she was struck by the intensity of Elliot's gaze.

"What can I do, Liv?" he asked softly.

"Get me a ticket to Barbados," she joked weakly. She was starting to feel foolish, unloading her problems on Elliot.

"Only if I get to tag along," he joined in, winking. "I hear the women are bronze all year long."

"So are the guys…how soon can you get the tickets?"

They laughed, glad to break the tension. Their cell phones came to life, summoning them back to the daily grind. Olivia reached into her purse to grab her wallet.

"Let me," she offered. It was the least she could do.

"Oooh, a woman who pays. You're after my own heart."

The smile on Olivia's lips died as she opened her wallet. It was empty, missing two twenties. She searched her purse coming up empty-handed.

"I don't believe this," she said smacking her forehead. "My money's missing!"

"Are you sure? Maybe you left it at home," Elliot offered.

Olivia vigorously shook her head. "No," she said firmly. "I had forty dollars in my wallet when I left work last night. I went straight home and stayed there until I left for work this morning."

"Wait..." Elliot murmured, piecing it together. "You're not suggesting…come on, Liv. You might have just misplaced it?"

"No way," she said angrily. "I only live with one other person, and I'm pretty sure we can rule me out. So that leaves my drunkard mother."

"You've been losing shit left and right lately," Elliot reasoned, trying to calm his partner. "This is probably the latest in the series."

"No," she repeated. "Think about it. My jacket? My earrings? Money? I think Serena may have graduated from liar to thief."

Elliot sighed. She had a point. "What are ya gonna do?"

"I'm going to knock some sense into her," Olivia answered, decisively.

"Well, in the mean time, I'll get the bill."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

Sasha loved the night. Night was sexy, mysterious and dangerous. Just like her. She breathed in the New York City air. She felt liberated, completely in control of her destiny.

She walked to the subway entrance and descended into its humid depths. She could feel eyes on her as she passed the faceless bystanders. Stupid bastards, she thought with disgust. They wouldn't know power if it stripped naked in front of their very eyes. This was power. I am power.

She perched carelessly on a bench, her skirt affording a free view to any and all who cared to look. She felt a stirring at the base of her neck and slowly glanced behind her. An older woman, clutching her shopping bags from Nordstroms and Bloomingdale's, was eyeing her with unabashed disdain. Her perfectly coiffed blond hair shone in the dull light and her blue eyes were sharp.

"Whaddaya lookin' at?" she asked with full attitude. But her interest was piqued.

"You look like a lost soul," the woman said steadily. Sasha was surprised to hear her voice crackling with age.

"Yeah, and you would be the one to know," she snapped, diving into strategy. Sure enough, the woman took one fearful look around, ambled over to her and helped herself to a seat.

"You should be more careful, walking out of the house in that get- up," she said, eyeing her sternly. "It's a sick world out there, you know what I mean?"

Sasha gave her a thousand-watt smile. "I know exactly what you mean."

×××××××××

Olivia yelped in pain as she stubbed her toe against Serena's bed frame. The throbbing in her foot added to her mounting frustration. What, did she sell my shit or something, she thought angrily. She had gone over every square inch of her mother's room and couldn't come up with her missing items. She placed her hands on her hips, trying to determine her next move.

Giving up, she started to straighten up the mess she had created. Bending down to pick up a discarded pillow, she noticed that the mattress was slightly askew. Acting on a hunch, she lifted up the mattress and peered underneath.

Olivia immediately spotted a pack of cigarettes and three brightly packaged condoms. In a trance, she scooped up the items and stared at them, lost in thought. At least she was being careful, but cigarettes? When did her mother start smoking?

So deep in thought, Olivia didn't hear anyone enter the apartment, much less Serena come up behind her.

"What in the hell are you doing?" Serena asked in alarm, gripping her purse so tightly her knuckles were white. Olivia looked at her mother, frightened of the possibilities. Crap.

"When did you start smoking?" Olivia asked, still perplexed, but trying to divert her mother's attention. Serena, a mirror of confusion, spotted the items in her daughter's hands, and shook her head.

"I don't…what are you doing with those condoms?" Serena asked. "What are you doing going through my things?"

"You're stealing from me!" Olivia shouted, the cigarettes and condoms forgotten momentarily. "I let you live with me out of the goodness of my heart and you steal from me?"

Serena stood, stupefied. "Why would I steal condoms or cigarettes?" she whispered harshly. "Neither one of us smoke, and you haven't been laid since the '90s."

The jab sent Olivia over the edge. "STOP LYING!" she shouted. "I've had it with your sneaking, your lying, your stealing, I've had enough! Where is my jacket? My earrings? This stops now!"

Serena was startled by the intensity of Olivia's outburst. Wasn't _she_ violating _her_ privacy? Opening her mouth to protest, she thought better of it and stalked from the room. A moment later the apartment door slammed.

Olivia sank onto the skewed mattress, trembling with rage.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

"I can see her not copping to the theft, but why lie about the cigarettes and condoms? Are you sure they are hers?" Elliot took a bite out of his tuna melt. 

"Well, then whose are they? Huh? Did the tooth fairy leave them?" Olivia picked at her salad.

Elliot ran his hand down his face, trying to wake up. He had gotten a frantic phone call from his youngest daughter last night. She tearfully recounted a horrible nightmare she had that concluded with him being killed. He sighed.

"Christ," he mumbled. It would be easier to handle if he were actually there.

"Yeah, Christ," Olivia mimicked, misunderstanding his plea. "Don't take up for her. It's aggravating."

Elliot blinked in confusion. "Oh yeah. No. I'm not taking up for her. You're right."

It finally dawned on her that her partner was rather preoccupied today. When had she gotten so self-centered?

"How are things with the kids?"

Elliot sighed again. "Lizzie is having nightmares about me dying…again."

"It's tough on a kid, with the news programs and such," Olivia said gently. "She's just worried about her dad."

Elliot shook his head in understanding. His cell rang, and he reached for it. "Stabler."

Fin's grave voice filled his ear. "Elliot…your aunt…he got Anna."

Stabler froze at the mention of the name. "Anna? What? My Aunt Anna?"

"Yes. It's bad Elliot…" 

"What happened?" Elliot was finding it a bit hard to focus.

Fin filled him in quickly on the details. Olivia listened in shock to Elliot's side of the conversation. He quickly disconnected. "We gotta go."

Olivia hastily threw bills on the table. "The Duct Tape Killer? Your Aunt?"

"Yeah, yeah. It's bad."

"Where are they?"

"The subway entrance on 44th."

×××××××××

Fin's mind was numb as he listened to the M.E.'s description. He looked up to see Olivia and Elliot rushing up to him. Silently they stared, Elliot's face a mask of horror and disbelief.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked.

Elliot shook his head. No. There was blood everywhere. Everywhere.

"You want to tell us what happened?" she coaxed Fin.

"Some homeless guy found her body near the construction, you know, where they're xpanding the tunnel," Fin began. "Same MO as the others, but he slashed her numerous places. We can't locate the weapon."

Olivia glanced at Elliot and gave him a reassuring squeeze. He shook off her arm and started pacing. "I need to call my mother."

Olivia shivered. At that moment, Warner and her assistants were guiding the stretcher up the subway steps. Olivia, Elliot and Fin watched, each trying to cope with their horror. The procession ended at the coroner's van as they deposited the body and roared off.

"Shit," Fin whispered, plaintively. "What did a defenseless old lady do wrong?"

Elliot felt a cold fury overtake his grief. He stared at the spot where the van once stood. The bastard.

"The bastard," Elliot said out loud. Olivia and Fin swiveled their heads toward him. Olivia didn't like what she saw. Elliot had that look. The look of revenge and destruction.

"El," Faith said, struggling to remain calm, "we're gonna get him. Believe that."

"Yes, we're gonna get him," Elliot replied, his voice dropping a few inches. "Or die trying."


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

God bless the weekend, Olivia thought. She was drained from the events of the past two days. Anna's death had pushed the 16th precinct into overdrive. There was a $500,000 reward for the head of "The Duct Tape Killer" or for information leading to his arrest. The four detectives were wired to the max. The FBI was threatening to step in.

"And let someone else bring in this jag-off?" Elliot had replied, coldly. "Not a rat's chance in hell. I'm gonna drag him into this house by his balls."

Olivia rubbed her forehead, mentally fighting off a migraine. She was worried about Elliot. They had volunteered to pull extra shifts to help catch the killer. She was afraid the stress might be too much for them to handle.

And then there was Serena. She had been drinking less this week, much to Olivia's surprise and thin delight. Olivia hoped that the accusations would be enough to keep Serena straight until she figured out just what to do.

Serena was at work, leaving Olivia alone with her thoughts. She hoped she would come home sober. Olivia started to reminisce on the early days of their relationship, when she was just a child. There weren't many happy memories but there were some, which brought tears to her eyes. She got a sudden impulse to flip through some old photo albums. Hopping off the couch, she padded barefoot into her bedroom.

The photo albums were kept underneath the bed, Olivia having to get down on all fours to dig them out. She reached for the first stack, but her fingers connected with something cool and silky. Grabbing it, she pulled it out for inspection. In her grasp was a bright pink, satin thong. Or if you could call it even that.

What is it with the beds in this house, she thought wildly, in complete shock. She rubbed the material together trying to sort out her confusion. How did it get under the bed? More importantly, whose was it! She didn't recognize it and she fought against her pounding head to try to recall ever buying it. She looked at it more closely. There were dark spots sprinkled over the material…what was this?

Olivia sat on her behind and leaned against the bed, surrendering to the assault of her migraine. The panties were definitely not hers. Serena? She checked the size. Too small for Serena's rump. Olivia fought off a wave of nausea as the paranoia set in. Who had been in her bedroom?

Serena found her like that an hour later, sitting in a trance, clutching the wretched thong.

"Olivia...are you alright?" she asked, alarmed. She had downed a couple shots before leaving the restaurant, so her vision was a wee bit cloudy.

Olivia slowly opened her eyes and stared at her mother. "Do I look alright?" she whispered.

Serena shook her head. God, what an effort. "What's that in your hand?"

"I don't know…" she whispered. "Have you had any female friends staying over?"

Serena peered at the offending material. "Damn Olivia... where in the world did you get those? That's a bit risqué for your flabby butt, dontcha think?"

Olivia stared at her mother, letting the insult slide. "They. Are not. Mine."

Serena snorted. "Well, I always thought you were a lesbian…what your girlfriend leave them?"

Olivia threw Serena a bizarre look. Despite herself, the baseless accusation flared her temper. "They aren't mine! I don't know how they got in here! Did you buy them and just forgot or something? Shoved them under my bed? They're not even clean."

"I see some counseling in your future," Serena said snidely. She couldn't get the wild mood swings of her daughter of late. But it was getting old. Fast.Olivia started to look closely at her mother. First the stolen items, then the stuff under the mattress, now this? Her mother was turning into a…a what?

"Things have been stressful around here lately," she said, struggling to calm down. "I think it would be a good idea if maybe we sat down and really talked to each other…try to flesh this out."

Serena smiled grimly. "I know exactly how to handle my stress. You need to handle yours. YOU need to go talk to someone about these mood swings."

Olivia stared at her in disbelief. "You think I'm crazy? Do you think I'm the crazy one? No, what's making me crazy is that you seem to think I'm the crazy one!"

This was a lost battle and she knew it. She needed a drink. Hell, she needed a couple of drinks. Just enough to help her sift through this new problem. Whatever the problem was.

"I'm going out Olivia. Don't wait up"


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Elliot flipped through the channels aimlessly, finding some strange comfort in the flickering images. He was exhausted, no doubt from the extra shifts. But it was worth it. Or will be worth it.

The confusing thing about the whole mess was what was Anna doing in that section of the city? She hated it up here, said it was full of filth and degenerates-guess she was right-and preferred to keep quarters in South Orange, New Jersey, making Elliot and the kids have to travel up there to see her. As if Jersey were any better. Hell, Elliot couldn't even remember the last time Anna had set foot inside the city.

He grabbed his cordless and started punching numbers. His mother picked up on the fourth ring.

"Hey, it's Elliot… How you holdin' up?"

"Oh, hey baby," his mother sighed. "It gets better, then it falls apart somehow. How's the investigation going?"

"It's going," he answered, "I'm working some overtime to help out. I got a question for you if that's alright."

"Sure."

"Well for starters…why was Anna in the city? Ever since her husband died, she tries to stay away from everything New York related."

His mother chuckled in surprise. "Elliot, you have to stay abreast of the family gossip. She's been seeing that retired steel worker, Ron. About three months now."

"Yeah?"

"She moved to New York last week. They were doing the long distance thing."

Elliot thought about this. "Damn." How was this overlooked?

His aunt started to sniffle. "Yeah, first time back and it kills her," she said flatly.

"What's his number? I need to talk to him."

×××××××××

Sasha fought and fought with all her might, but she couldn't ward it off. The depression.

Every time she let her mind wander towards him, she fell so deep and couldn't get herself out. The depression, it was merciless and total, consuming every fiber of her being. She couldn't function, couldn't garner the power she knew she possessed.

Why oh why, my love, she thought desperately. She wished things were different, wished she could just reach out and take the hand he offered her time and time again. But she

couldn't. She wasn't allowed to. The devil made those decisions.

She twisted and writhed on her bed, fighting the depression, the feeling. As if she were literally drowning.

She loved him for as long as she could remember. He was her true love, so near yet so far away. She wanted to reveal herself, confess her love. But she couldn't hurt him. Couldn't let him know who she really was.

She was a bad girl.

She refused to let him go, knowing full well the devil would never allow her to be with him. The devil held the key to her happiness, the sloth. She was his slave and they both knew it.

So she would keep killing the devil until he released her from her shackles.


	8. Chapter 8

I wanted to take a moment and thank everyone for the reviews. I actually did this story for the Third Watch section using Bosco and Faith and decided to try it out on Elliot and Olivia…I'm glad I did, it seems to work a bit better I never finished loading that story on but I plan to complete this one with a different ending. Things have been mysterious up to this point, but now you will start to piece things together.

And oh yeah: I don't own any of these characters, but if Dick Wolf wants to give me a late Christmas present, I wouldn't object 

CHAPTER EIGHT

Elliot and Olivia rolled up to Ron Forester's apartment building. Elliot threw a worried look towards his partner. For the past week or so, Olivia had been looking a little frayed around the edges and she periodically would reach up and rub her temples. Elliot had been forcefully pushing back concern for her to focus on this case, especially since the ninth body had turned up two days ago, this time the hapless victim taking a six story dive off a balcony. But, now he could see that a talk was in order.

"Let's talk to Ron, then go grab a bite to eat, alright?" Elliot suggested as they rode the elevator up to the third floor.

"I'm not hungry," Olivia said shortly.

"Well, I am. Ah, here it is right next to the elevator."

Elliot knocked rapidly on Apartment 301. A graceful elderly man opened the door. "Can I help you?" he asked tentatively. "I've already told everything I know to the other cops that were here."

"Ron? Hi, I'm…I'm Detective Elliot Stabler and this is my partner Detective Olivia Benson."

The old man's face lit up with recognition. "Of course, of course…Anna's policeman nephew? Come in…"

They sat down in his cozy living room. From the corner of his eye, Elliot saw Olivia discreetly rub her right temple. He then spotted a picture of Ron and Anna sitting on the mantle.

"I can't say how sorry I am," Ron began. "Anna and I had only been together for three months, but it was gonna work. I could feel it. She had wanted me to meet you, she said she was gonna call you..."

Bosco nodded, smiling gravely. "I'm also sorry," he said, "but I need to ask you a few questions about where Anna was heading that night. If you could remember anything that you might have forgotten to tell the detectives."

Ron shook his head helplessly. "I was so tore up, I just told them she went out for a little while, but I couldn't remember where she had gone... maybe shopping? We mostly stayed here, Anna couldn't stand New York. But she said she had to go somewhere."

He snapped her fingers. "That's right! She wanted to hunt down an old friend...Paul…Peter...Perry…Perry!"

"Perry Williams," Elliot supplied, excited. "Yeah, they used to be neighbors back in Jersey."

"I'm sorry, I don't have a number or an address."

"You've been enough help," Elliot assured him. "Thank you so much Ron."

"No, thank you. Just get this guy, will ya?"

×××××××××

Olivia and Elliot sat on a bench in the park, Elliot hungrily wolfing down his tacos.

"So we just run this guy's name and come up with an address, yeah?"

Elliot nodded. "If not, I remember the bar where he now works," he said mouth full of shells and beans, "it's on the upper east side. We could drop in on him."

Olivia nodded absently. Elliot wiped his mouth clean and started in on her. "Talk to me."

Faith looked at him, confused. "Huh?"

"I know my head's been full of this case, my cousin, but I'm worried about you," he said sincerely.

Olivia smiled thinly. "I'm okay, my mom needs to be shot, but I'm okay."

Elliot stared deep into her eyes, fighting off a sense of dread. "It's something else…you can tell me you know. I'm your partner, Liv?"

Olivia pondered this question. Should she tell him? She had been keeping it to herself for so long, she didn't quite know how to voice it. But the look of worry on Elliot's face sealed it for her.

"I don't know…" she said in a low voice, "it's weird. I don't know...it's really weird."

Elliot prodded her with his eyes. Olivia sighed. "I get these...migraines. They're kinda scary."

"Scary how?"

"Well, they come on little then they just build and build until I literally...shut down."

"Shut down?"

"Yeah," Olivia said with a half chuckle. "I pass out."  
Elliot stared at Olivia, horrified. "You...pass out!"

"Or fall into a deep sleep," Olivia reasoned quickly. "Whatever you want to call it. Then I wake up and I'm fine. But every once in awhile, like today, I get little spurts of pain, but they aren't debilitating or anything."

"I think now would be a good time to go to a doctor Liv," Elliot ordered. "How long has this been going on?"

"A couple of months."

"Aw, Jesus Benson."

Olivia shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Should she tell him the other thing? It really wasn't anything, just a mere coincidence.

"What?" Elliot demanded. "There's something else."

Olivia shook her head. That was it for today. "Nothing, I'm just tired and fed up."

"Why don't you take off early? I can look up Perry myself," Elliot offered.

She nodded, taking him up on the offer. She would see a doctor as soon as possible.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

Elliot walked into Shoney's bar, feeling every eye in the place trained on him. He shrugged and started searching faces until he spotted Perry. Perry's most distinguishing feature was his eyes. They were emerald green and shocking against his cocoa brown skin. Elliot walked up to the wiry old man with a smile.

"Hey, man, long time no see."

"Well, well, if it isn't Detective Stabler," He was smiling, but his sparkling eyes held a hint of sadness. "Man, I'm so sorry about Anna. What the hell."

"Yeah, it's been tough," Elliot agreed. "Listen, can I speak to you for a second?"

They moved over to a semi-private booth in the corner. "You want anything?" Perry asked.

"Naw, I'm on the job. Listen, I'm trying to nail down Anna's movements on the night she was murdered."

"Well, she was here," Perry offered, lighting up a cigarette.

"Really?" His aunt in a bar?

"Yeah, she came in, said hello. Didn't last long, you know she was about these type of establishments."

Elliot was intrigued. He could feel his hands start to tingle in anticipation. "Did she talk to anyone, did you notice if someone was taking a particular interest in her?"

Perry shook his head. "Naw, nobody was chatting her up, God rest her soul, but she was sure focused on some honey at the jukebox. Followed her out of here."

Elliot's heart stilled. A possible witness? "She just followed her outta here? A woman?"

Perry nodded his head slowly, smiling. "Yeah boy, you know how Anna was with her do-gooding self...she pegged the woman for a hooker and probably wanted to give a little free advice."

"Perry, think hard. What did she look like?"

"Aw shit man," Perry said, stubbing out his butt with a pained expression on his face. "I only glanced at her once or twice. She was blond, medium height, great legs. I didn't really see her face…matter fact, I don't think she ever turned my way."

Elliot tried not to let his frustration show. "Alright, Perry. Tomorrow there's gonna be a couple more cops coming in, probably detectives, and they're gonna want to talk to some of your regulars."

Perry nodded. "I hope you get this bastard El. This is some sick shit."

×××××××××

"Olivia, I don't know what to tell you," Dr. Greene said kindly. "You're in near-perfect health. The tests show everything's working right except that your blood pressure is a little more than slightly elevated. That may be the cause of the migraines."

Olivia chewed her bottom lip. She didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed.

"I can give you some medication to help control it," he went on, "but, my best advice is to try and relax. Get some more sleep, stay on a regular eating schedule, and try to find a de-stress type of activity. Something that will help you vent out that frustration."

Olivia nodded. It's about what she expected to hear. She thanked Dr. Greene and headed home to get some more rest before her shift.

She was mortified to find Serena puking her guts out in the bathroom after she walked in. She glanced at her watch.

"Serena? Serena. What the hell are you doin' here? You were supposed to be at work three hours ago!"

She gasped for air. "Dammit Olivia! Don't you see I'm sick? I can't go to work barfin' up my breakfast."

"You mean your alcohol?" she spat angrily. She turned and left her to it. She marched into the kitchen and nearly slipped on an empty bottle of Miller Lite. Infuriated, she picked it up and chucked it into the wall, shattering the glass. She looked around the kitchen and noticed the empty bottles lying everywhere.

Olivia suddenly grabbed her head. God.

She struggled to calm down, but the pounding was incessant. Her vision started to blur as she saw two Serenas stumble into the living room and collapse on two couches. She couldn't believe it, the pain had never come on this quick before.

She let out a strangled cry as the darkness enveloped her.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

"Elliot, you're missing a partner," Munch deadpanned, exiting the room.

Elliot looked impatiently at his watch, catching Cragen's eye. Announcements were over and there was still no sign of Olivia.

"She hasn't called in…what's goin' on?"

"I don't know Cap...this ain't like her. She's the responsible one," he muttered. He hoped she was okay. Especially after hearing about her migraines.

"I'll give her apartment a ring," Elliot said, jumping up.

No answer. He called three more times and got the machine each time. He then tried her cell, but it was off.

"Sit on the desk until she arrives," Cap ordered.

Groaning, he headed to the first floor. "She better be hurting or she's gonna pay," he grumbled to himself.

After taking a call from an old lady missing her cat, Fin approached Elliot.

"You in trouble or something?"

"Naw, my partner's just MIA. What's up?"

Fin rolled his head. "I need a massage."

"Uh, I reserve my talents for the ladies."

"Shut up, Elliot. Anyways, no dice on Shoney's."

Elliot's hopes fell. He thought they were so close.

"The best we got was some guy saying the lady was dressed in pink and white. Oh, and she's got a nice set of knockers."

"To go along with her legs," Elliot joked half-heartedly, remembering what Perry had said. "Jesus, doesn't anybody look at a woman's face?"

"Ask me that again, Stabler."

Elliot thanked Fin. Momentarily forgetting Olivia, he looked over the possibilities. His aunt either struck out with the chick or she heeded her advice. She was more than likely the last person to see her alive.

The last person...a seed of an idea started to grow in Elliot's mind.

"Fin, wait." The detective turned around on the stairs, expectantly.

"My aunt…she wasn't sexually assaulted."

"Yeah, but that's not relevant."

Elliot's interest was piqued. "Why's that?"

"Four out of the nine victims had sex before death, one of whose wife is claiming that it was her. And two had evidence of latex on their privates." Fin could see where Elliot was going with this. Slowly he walked back to the information desk. "What are you thinking?"

"Well, there's a good chance this woman was the last person who saw my aunt alive. Besides the killer. The trail turns cold after she followed her out of that bar. How do we know our killer isn't a she?"

×××××××××

Olivia felt as if she were floating to the surface of a very deep ocean. She struggled to reach the light, suddenly sitting up gasping for breath.

She looked around. She was in her bed. How had she gotten in here? Usually she woke up where the attack took place. Her head was nursing the remnants of the migraine. Groaning, she swung her feet over the side of the bed, her eye catching the clock.

"Oh shit!" she exclaimed. It was a quarter after five. Her hand flew to her mouth. She had been out for like five hours. Why didn't someone wake her? She was late for work, extremely late for work. She rushed into the living room.

She spotted Serena laying out on the couch, the remains of her stomach contents staining her work shirt. A blanket was slung over her legs. She was gaping at Olivia, as if she'd seen a ghost.

"Why didn't you wake me? I overslept, do you know how late I am?"

Serena continued to stare. "…When did you get home?" she asked in a small, irritated voice.

Olivia looked at her, confused. "I never left…I'm late for work. I, I was in the bedroom, where you put me." 

Shaking her head visibly, Serena spoke up. "Olivia," she said carefully, "You weren't here."

"Yes, Serena I was in the bedroom, sleeping," Olivia said patiently.

Again Serena felt the fear she first experienced when her daughter jumped her about those damn cigarettes. Then the money...what was going on with her daughter? Bravely, she said, "Olivia…I think it might be a good idea for you to take a break from that job…you know? I woke up, found a blanket in your room and you were not there. Nowhere in sight."

Olivia was speechless. Her mother was looking at her as if she were crazy. Nowhere in sight? Then where the hell was she?

Olivia fought the nausea that threatened to exit her stomach. "I've gotta call work," she said, frantically searching for the phone. She quickly dialed the precinct.

"16th precinct, Detective Stabler speaking."

Olivia was so glad to hear his voice. "El…El it's me."

"Where the hell are you?"

She looked back at her mother and moved off into her bedroom. Shutting the door, she let the tears flow. "Elliot," she whispered. "I'm losing my mind."


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"…I'm not quite sure what to say," Elliot managed. The story Olivia told him was nothing short of bizarre. "What did the doctor say?"

"I'm as healthy as a horse," she mumbled miserably. "I don't know what to do Elliot. Either my mom is playing the cruelest trick on me ever or I'm seriously losing my mind. How can I black out and forget everything?"

"Shhhh…slow it down there partner," Elliot warned. He still wasn't convinced that Serena didn't have anything to do with all the strange occurrences. Or that they were connected in any way to her migraines. "Where are the panties you found?"

"I threw them away," she answered wearily. The look on Elliot's face confirmed her worse fears. He didn't believe her.

"Maybe…maybe a vacation is in order," he said gently. "Your mother might not be too far off the mark. It's been a tough couple of months…it may be time for you to slow things down a bit. You have time coming to you. Why don't you take a couple of weeks?"

She looked at him sadly. For reasons she can't explain, his solution hurt her deep to the core. Why?

"Okay," she said simply.

"Okay?" Elliot couldn't help feeling surprised. It wasn't like her to give in so easily.

"Yeah. You're right. You need some time away from me."

Elliot's eyebrows furrowed. "That's not exactly what I said…"

"Thanks for coming over," she said, cutting him off. "I'm feeling tired, I need to go to bed. I'll talk to Cragen in the morning."

Elliot hesitated as he stood up to leave. "Okay," he said giving in. For now. "I'll talk to you soon."

Olivia didn't know how long she stared at the door after he left.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The "Duct Tape Killer" was quiet. The city hadn't seen a murder in nearly two months, and business around the 16th precinct was starting to slow to a less than frenetic pace. Other cases were popping up and "The Duct Tape Killer" case was starting to lose some of its steam.

Still, the thirst to avenge his aunt's death kept the case very fresh in Elliot's mind. He stared sightlessly at the DD5 he was working on. He hadn't talked to Olivia in almost three weeks, she had left town for a vacation in an undisclosed location. He believed she desperately needed this time away, but he couldn't help feeling miffed that she had fail to contact him. The ringing telephone jarred him out of his reverie.

"Stabler."

"Elliot, it's Tamara. I got something for you."

Thirty minutes later, Elliot pushed open the door to the cutting room, the stench of bodies and chemicals assaulting his senses. "What do you got?"

"I found something interesting on the fifth victim that I failed to notice before," she said absently, peering into the lens of the microscope.

"Is that a piece of duct tape found on the victim?"

"Yes, take a look." Elliot peered into the lens. He could make out what appeared to be a strand of hair stuck to the tape.

"What color is it?" Elliot asked, glancing at the pretty M.E. "And please tell me you got a hit in the system."

"Appears to be blond, and no, no hit. And that's because the hair is fake."

"Fake?" Elliot asked, digesting this.

"Yes. Your killer wore a women's wig."


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

Olivia pushed through the doors of the house, feeling a little light in her step. She had just spent the last three weeks in Hawaii, a place she had always wished to go, but had reserved for her honeymoon. She chuckled at the thought. It's a good thing she didn't wait for that one.

"If it isn't Miss Olivia Benson," Munch announced, giving her a light hug. "You were missed."

Olivia treated him with a brilliant smile. "And this crazy place as well. Any new developments?"

Just then Elliot and Cragen walked into the squadroom, heads bent, intently studying a piece of paper. Olivia felt her heart jump at the sight of her partner. She hadn't realized how much she missed him.

"Hey Cap, Elliot."

He looked up then at the mention of his name. Olivia looked radiant and, most of all, relaxed. He felt his irritation with her slowly seeping away.

"How are you Olivia? Feeling better?" Cragen asked.

"Absolutely, what have we got?"

"Elliot was just about to interview a wig shop owner. Give him some company."

"I'll fill you in on the way," he said brusquely, grabbing his coat. The slightly off tone didn't escape Olivia's attention.

In the sedan, Elliot quickly filled Olivia in. "…we were able to locate where the wig had been purchased. The owner has been out on vacation, but he's back now. Let's see if he can id our mystery woman."

"So that's how the case is going, how are you?" she asked.

Elliot glanced at her briefly. "Fine. Did you have fun in Virginia?"

"Virginia? I was in Hawaii, not in Virginia."

"Oh…I thought maybe you went down to see Andy…" He felt like a child. Who cares where she went as long as she was getting the much needed rest she deserved?

"Elliot, I wasn't with Andy. I did what you told me to do and I feel great. Thank you."

After a brief silence, "I was worried about you."

Olivia found him trying hard to avoid her gaze. "I appreciate it Elliot, I really do. And I missed you too."

He couldn't help smiling. "I'm that transparent?"

"Crystal."

They pulled up to the wig shop and entered. After asking for Seymour, a middle-aged Korean man emerged from behind the counter. "I am Seymour. What can I do for you?"

After explaining the situation, Seymour shook his head vigorously. "Do you know how many wigs, especially that style, I have sold? It will be nearly impossible to remember."

"It would have been about two months ago, maybe longer," Elliot coaxed, but he knew it was fruitless.

"I'm sorry, I have no idea who it could have been."

They left the wig shop and slowly walked back to the car, both savoring the uncharacteristically warm day. "Have you talked to Kathy lately?"

Elliot grimaced. "Yeah, she filled me on this journalist she is dating. She sounds happy."

Olivia sympathized. "Well, my mother is working late tonight, why don't you stop by and watch a movie with me? We can order in take out."

Elliot started to protest than quickly thought better of it. Maybe that's what the two of them needed, a time to spend together that didn't revolve around dead bodies.

"I'll bring the movies."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot took the steps two at a time to Olivia's floor. He had stopped by the video store beforehand, picking up _Dodgeball _and _Mean Girls_. He figured they could both use a good laugh.

Arriving at her apartment door, he reached up to knock but hesitated. Could you be nervous Stabler, he asked himself. What for? It's just Olivia. He shook his head and rapped quickly on the door.

Olivia answered with a brilliant smile. She had chose a soft teal sweater that clung to all the right places and worn jeans that fit her shape perfectly. She was barefoot and her hair was just slightly tousled. It took Elliot a minute to realize he had stopped breathing.

"Coming in?" she asked him quizzically. He looked somewhat taken aback and Olivia couldn't help feeling pleased.

"Of course," he managed, stepping into the apartment. Olivia had already set plates of steaming Chinese food and a couple of cold beers on her coffee table. "_Dodgeball_ and _Mean Girls_. Your pick."

"Let's go with Lindsay," she said, plucking the case from his hand and inserting the DVD in the player. They settled comfortably on the couch and dug into the food. While they chatted and laughed along with the movie, Olivia couldn't help thinking how at ease and relaxed she could be when in Elliot's presence. She stared at his profile, the smooth forehead, the strong jaw…

Elliot did a double take. "Liv," he said smiling, a bit unnerved. "You're staring."

Olivia blushed a deep crimson and turned her attention back to the screen. Moments later she felt a hand gently cup her chin and slowly turn her head to the side.

"Liv," Elliot said softly. "can I kiss you?" His bravery shocked even him and he immediately regretted his request. This was his partner. Period. He was on the rebound and it wasn't fair –

His thoughts were interrupted by the soft feel of Olivia lips meeting his. They were tentative at first, each slowly testing out the unfamiliar territory. As they became more comfortable, the pressure increased until they were hungrily seeking out each other's lips and tongues. Finally, they broke apart.

Elliot's eyes focused on Olivia's lips, red from the pressure of his own. "Where… Where's your mom?" he stammered.

Olivia scrunched her forehead. It dawned her then that she hadn't seen her mom all night. "I don't know."

Elliot hesitated. "Would you feel comfortable…if I stayed the night?"

Olivia smiled. Silently, she stood up from the couch and offered Elliot her hand. He took it with a squeeze and followed her into the bedroom.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The ringing of the telephone jarred Olivia from her thoughts. She had been staring at the sleeping Detective Stabler, marveling at the love they had just made, yet cringing at the predicament they had just stepped into.

This could never work she thought sadly, as she reached for the phone. "Hello?" she cleared her throat, trying to rid it of sex.

"Olivia?" The captain's voice filled her ear.

She bolted upright and glanced quickly at Elliot. He was still sound asleep, spared from the brutal ringing. "Yes…yes Captain. What's up?"

"Olivia," he sighed. He felt helpless. "Olivia, I need you to come down to the station."

The note in Cragen's voice fired a panic in her that she wasn't used to feeling. How could she know about Elliot, she thought unrealistically. Did he tell someone –

"Olivia?"

"Yes…yes. I'll be there in a few."

XXXXXXXXXX

Olivia walked quickly into the precinct. She had left Elliot sleeping soundly in her apartment, scribbling a quick note about her whereabouts. The subway ride afforded her time to think more clearly. Obviously, this wasn't about Elliot, it was four in the morning and the Captain would never bring it up in that manner. Plus the fact that there was no way anyone else would know. It must be about the Elden case she had been working on, she reassured herself.

She tapped lightly on the Captain's door. He summoned her in. Olivia took note of his disheveled appearance. "What's up?"

Cragen gazed at her saddened. First Elliot's aunt, now this. "Olivia, I received a call at home…it's your mother."

Olivia shook her head puzzled. "My mother? She's at…" Home? Was she? Olivia was so wrapped up in Elliot, she wasn't sure if she had seen her come in…

"She had an accident…on the subway steps on 74th…she suffered massive head trauma. I'm sorry Olivia."

Cragen was surprised at Olivia's reaction. She seemed almost deep in thought, moreso than shattered. "…and they called you?"

"Your courtesy shield was in her wallet…they contacted the precinct first."

Olivia braced for her next question. "Was she drunk?"

Cragen hesititated. "I really don't know. She's down at the M.E.'s office-"

"Was she drunk?" Olivia interrupted sternly.

Cragen was silent. "You need to see the M.E. for the id," he said finally.

"Okay," she said brusquely, turning to leave.

"Olivia, wait! Do you want me to go with you?"

She turned and looked back at her captain, a face unreadable. "This I do alone."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia shuffled quietly into the M.E.'s office. She was in a state of shock and she was experienced enough to recognize it, yet her head was killing her. The M.E. on call was Sanders. Eradicating the small talk, she asked to see her mother's body.

"Would you like me too…" Sanders started gently.

"Please leave me alone," she grounded out. It was difficult with the pain in her head and she could feel the tears she had been fighting to hold back threatening to burst through.

Nodding his consent, he left her with the body. Gingerly picking up the sheet, she peered down. One look at her mother's lifeless body and she was assaulted with a pain so fierce it nearly knocked her over.

"AAAUGH!" Olivia let out a strangled gasp as she gripped the side of the gurney. She remembered the waxen look of her mother's face before the darkness swallowed her whole.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot woke up with the rays of the sun beating him in the face. He absently reached for Olivia, but was met with the feel of cool sheets. Startled, he swung his head around the room. Was she in another part of the apartment? Without even climbing out of bed to check, he knew she was gone. It was then that he spotted the note, with it's hasty scrawl: _The captain called me down to the station…be back soon. Make yourself at home. Love, Olivia._

His heart skipped a beat at the "Love." Feeling foolish, he climbed out of bed and padded into the bathroom. He searched through her mounds of toiletries, makeup, and what have you, trying to find a new toothbrush. Bending down to search the cabinet, he found several bottles of pink nail polish scattered at the back. He counted out seven bottles in several stages of use.

How odd, he thought. Olivia didn't strike him as the "girly" type that would require such a color. He thought about the type she was. She was perfect, he thought happily. What they were going to do about this "relationship" he didn't yet know, but he did know that he wanted to give it a try.

He straightened up and decided to head home, clean up and get ready for his shift. He left Olivia a note of his own, then headed out of the apartment.


	14. Chapter 14

I was on fire, now I've got to hang it up for the night. I will try to update tomorrow or Sunday. Thanks for the reviews and please keep reading! There's more I want to cover with this story.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Sasha was elated. She skipped down the street, the picture of a free woman without a care in the world. Her beauty radiated, and passerby couldn't help but notice the beautiful woman.

I won, she thought, pumping her fist in the air. You can't stop me Devil, I'm on to you. This battle was mine for the taking.

She wandered the streets aimlessly, the picture of happiness. The city was waking up, vendors were setting up their wares and the early morning traffic was starting to heat up. But Sasha noticed none of this. She was too busy trying to figure out how to win battle two, the last and final fight.

I can do this, just one more battle with you Devil. She was one step closer to her love and she wasn't going to stop now. She was in overdrive, time to speed up this process. She looked down at her clothes. What the hell was she wearing? She needed to change.

Sasha took one last spin and headed home.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Elliot. Again, you are missing a partner. Why can't you keep a tight leash on her?"

Fin and Munch chuckled at Elliot's irritation. Olivia was three hours late for work and he couldn't reach her anywhere. No one had seen her this morning, despite the fact that she told him that she came here. The captain wasn't in yet either, so maybe they were together?

"Good morning, people. Elliot, can I see you in my office?"

Spoke too soon. Elliot spun around and followed Cragen into his office, desperately trying to come up with an excuse for her.

"Close the door."

Elliot obeyed. The captain looked haggard and Elliot instantly knew he wasn't happy.

"Whatever it is, whoever it is, I didn't do it," Elliot complained.

"This isn't about you," Cragen said rolling his eyes. "It's Olivia. Her mother died last night."

Elliot stilled. "What! What happened! I thought her mother was working late-" he shut up quickly. He didn't want to add too much of what he knew in case the captain figured out where _he_ had spent the night.

"She was drunk and tumbled down a set of subway steps. I called Olivia down here around 4 a.m. to tell her the news."

Oh my God, Elliot thought. She was going to blame herself. He needed to talk to her. "Where is she Cap?"

Cragen looked at him. "I was…hoping you could tell me that," he said gravely.

Elliot shifted uncomfortably. "I haven't seen her since yesterday…"

"Dammit," Cragen said, frustrated. "She's disappeared Elliot. Sanders left her alone in the viewing room. He became concerned when she hadn't emerged in an hour, took a peek in the room and she was gone. I was hoping she went to you, but we can't locate her anywhere."

Elliot let out the breath he was holding. But he was faced with another problem. Where the hell is Olivia?


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

It had been two days. The 16th precinct was in a frenzy. One of their own was missing, and "The Duct Tape Killer" had come out of hiding. Two bodies were found, both male, within 10 blocks of each other. Elliot stooped down to examine the second victim, a black male, who had suffered gun shot wounds to his lower and upper back.

"He was probably running away," said O'Halloran.

Elliot couldn't focus. He felt as if a part of him had been ripped to shreds. Where was Olivia? No one had heard from her and she hadn't contacted anyone. Huang suggested the trauma of her mother's death may have forced her into hiding, but they couldn't find any trace of her. No witnesses, no airplane tickets, nothing.

"We got something!"

O'Halloran rushed up to Elliot, Fin and Munch. He held a woman's shoe with what was left of the heel, jagged.

"It's a size eight shoe," he explained. "Looks like the woman broke the heel while trying to get away."

"Is it our perp's or a witness?" Fin asked.

"Or a potential victim?" Munch added.

"Our killer is a woman," Elliot was sure of it. "Bag it, and let us know what you find."

"If so, she's starting to get sloppy," said Huang, working out the profile. "Something has changed in her mind, she's feeling more urgent. Before the killings were meticulous, not a shred of evidence left behind. She was in a state of panic to leave her shoe behind."

"It seems like she's speeding up," remarked Fin, "that's two bodies in a ten block radius."

"We need to catch her and fast," said Huang. "It's only a matter of time before this gets even uglier than we can imagine."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot pushed open the door of Olivia's apartment. When she first went missing, the super had given the detectives a key to access her apartment. He was coming off of 20 straight hours pounding pavement. This woman, this killer, was monstrous and they had to put a stop to her.

He needed consolation and he wanted to be near Olivia's things. As soon as he stepped in the apartment, he noticed a shift. Someone was there, he could feel it. Unholstering his gun, he carefully searched the place, coming to Olivia's bedroom door. Cautiously, he pushed open her door.

To his utter amazement and shock, he saw Olivia. A sleeping Olivia, but Olivia no doubt. He lowered his gun and let out a shout. What was she doing here? Where had she been?

He sat down on the side of the bed, and shook her gently. She continued to sleep. He noticed she was still wearing the clothes she had worn that night, and while he thought that was odd, he was just so happy to see that she was alive and safe. Quickly, he punched in the captain's number on his cell and notified him of Olivia's location. He then crawled into bed next to her and fell into a deep sleep, his arms wrapped tightly around her, unwilling to let her go.

XXXXXXXXXX

"The shoes are brand new," Warner explained. "Probably a cheap pair if the heel broke off so easily."

"Yeah, yeah. You got a DNA sample?" Munch asked impatiently.

"No, the killer couldn't have had them on for very long, no sweat nothing," she said. Munch was beyond frustrated. This woman alluded them at every turn.

"Can you tell where the shoe was bought?" Fin asked.

"Yes, a store called Fiona's. There are 24 of them in Manhattan alone."

"How you figure that?"

"It's on the label," Warner smiled.

"More footwork," Munch grumbled. "I haven't done this much walking in-"

"Ever. Let's go see if the ballistics report is ready," Fin said. "Maybe we got a hit on the gun."

"I'm still working on the cigarette butt we found near the first body," said Warner, "I'll let you know."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia woke to find Elliot staring at her strangely. She smiled. He was so handsome.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi yourself," he said, in an odd tone.

She blinked. The memory of her mother's body lying on the cold slab assaulted her memory. She closed her eyes tight.

"Liv, you ok?"

"My mother," she whispered. "She's gone."

"I know," Elliot said gently. "I'm so sorry."

"I should have gone to look for her…"

"It's not your fault," he reassured her. "There was no way you could have known."

"I was so wrapped up…I didn't even think to check if she had made it home!"

Elliot sympathized. But he couldn't excuse her behavior without some answers. "Olivia," he began slowly. "Where have you been?"

She sighed. "I went down to the morgue to identify her body…then I came back here." Even to her, the explanation sounded hollow. She blacked out again. She was sure of it. She hoped to God Elliot didn't notice.

He shook his head slowly, a cold fear seeping into his veins. "Olivia…you've been missing for close to three days. The last time anyone saw you was at the morgue." He took her head into his hands, leaned in close and stared into her eyes. "What is happening to you Olivia? What is going on?"

She stared back, her body starting to tremble. "I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know."

He nodded, pulling her into his arms. "We'll get you help for this," he assured her, stroking her hair.

She pushed away from him. "I want to take a shower," she said dully. She stood up and quietly walked into the bathroom, shutting the door after her.

He rubbed his eyes wearily. She was sick, he thought wearily. Mentally sick. His eye caught on something lying in the corner of the room, next to the dresser. His heart literally stopped beating and he couldn't believe his eyes.

Slowly and painfully he walked over to the dresser and bent down to retrieve the item. In his hands he held a platinum blond wig.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

"We got a hit with ballistics," Cragen announced, holding the sheet in the air. "The bullets came from a standard issue NYPD weapon."

The room went silent. Fin was the first to find his voice. "We're thinking this is a cop?"

Huang nodded. "That would make sense…think of how tidy the crime scenes were until now."

"They're working on trying to trace the bullets back to the gun," Cragen answered. "We need to keep a tight lid on this until we know what we're dealing with. In the meantime, pull up files of all female NYPD officers who have a history of mental problems."

XXXXXXX

Much needed, she thought as she stepped out of the shower. She had some serious problems, she was confronted with that today and she couldn't think of any other time when she was this frightened for her life. The only good thing about it was that it was destined to push Elliot away from her. It had to be done. There just couldn't be any romantic involvement between them. Wrapping the towel securely around her she stepped back into the room.

She saw Elliot crouching in the corner of the room, a distraught look on his face. He looked up at her with such anguish, her heart almost split in two.

"What's wrong? Elliot!"

"It's you." He couldn't believe the words even as he uttered them. But it made sense. The blackouts, the disappearances, the "missing" items, the pink nail polish, the panties with the "dark" spots, the wig…

"It's me what? Why…why are you looking at me like that!" she was nearly screaming. It was then she noticed the wig. She felt her head starting to throb. Oh no, not again.

She sat down gingerly at the foot of the bed, tightly clutching the towel around her. "What…you're trying to turn me into Kathy now?" she said weakly.

He couldn't find his voice. "I…why Anna?"

"Anna? You're aunt? Elliot, what the hell are you talking about?"

The rage. He felt it, and he couldn't hold back. "You're The Duct Tape Killer! I know it, you fucking lunatic! Why Liv? WHY? She did nothing to you, those other people did nothing to you!"

Olivia heaved herself up. "No, I'M NOT! How dare you? What would ever make you think that? I'm OLIVIA, I'm-"

Elliot watched as she grabbed her head and toppled to the floor. His anger was quickly replaced by fear as he rushed to her side. She was out cold. Oh my God, what have I done? He bent his head in defeat.

"Hello there," a silky voice said.

He lifted his head and looked at Olivia. She was awake and staring at him, with a smirk on her face. It was Olivia…but it didn't look like her. Her features were much sharper, more feral.

"Is that all you want to do? Just stare at me?" she laughed heartily and in one fell swoop she removed her towel.

Elliot gaped at her. "Olivia-"

Quick as lightening, she slapped him hard across the face. Stunned, Elliot scooted back. "OLIVIA! Do I look like fucking OLIVIA to you?"

"Who…who are you then?" he whispered, fighting for control. Even her voice sounded different…huskier.

The woman smirked. "It's a good thing you're cute," she said, standing up. She rustled through the dresser and came up with a pack of Marlboros and a lighter and her NYPD issue firearm. After lighting up and taking a deep drag, she blew out the smoke sexily. "I'm Sasha, Elliot. And I've been waiting for you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Captain Cragen! Captain!" Warner bellowed as she ran into the squad room. "I just had to come down and tell you this personally."

"What's up?"

"It's Olivia."

Fin and Munch came up behind the captain. "What the hell do you mean, 'It's Olivia'?" Fin asked, throwing her his most suspicious look.

Warner shook her head sadly. "DNA does not lie," she softly. "The cigarette found on last night's body had her saliva on it."

"Try again," Munch said angrily. "Olivia doesn't smoke."

"This is bullshit," Fin added for emphasis.

"I'm sorry, I know how hard this must be for all of you," she said. "But if we check her gun, we might be able to match the bullets to it. Where is she now?"

"With Elliot," Cragen said quietly, finally speaking up. They knew it was a cop, they knew it was a woman, and now they had Olivia's DNA. The unexplained three day absence…

"If it's really Olivia, we need to get to Elliot," Huang said, in total disbelief himself. "She's a danger to him and herself."

"Let's do this right," Cragen said firmly. "I'll notify ESU. Fin, Munch, get over to Olivia's apartment. Huang we need you there too."


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

"So let me get this straight," Sasha said easily, her hip perched on the dresser. She was holding the cigarette in one hand and the gun in the other. His was on the dresser next her, where she placed it after confiscating it. "You fucked Olivia, before you fucked me? That fat whore?"

Elliot was in a state of distress. He didn't want to hurt her, but he had to get the gun away from her and call in for help. Don't underestimate her, he thought to himself. This isn't Olivia, this is a stone cold killer.

"Yes, I did," Elliot said carefully. Time to get some answers and calm her down. "I had no idea that you were interested in me Sasha. That might have changed my tune."

She stared at him. "Do you really think that was Olivia throwing you all those signs? That insecure, emotionally unstable woman? _I'm a child of rape and yaya ayayayaya,"_ she said, mimicking Olivia's voice. "The woman is a lesbian Elliot, she can't handle a real man. Not like I can."

"You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. So…I'm curious," he said. He was treading on thin ice here and he knew it. Careful. "Why did you hurt all those people?"

She was whistling now, totally relaxed, totally in control. "Hmmm? Oh, those weren't people, they were the Devil. In his many forms anyway."

"The Devil?" Just then there was a loud banging on the front door and yelling. Sasha jumped off the dresser and rushed to the front door. Elliot following behind, less urgent.

"Who the hell is it?" she screamed.

"It's Fin…" he meant to say "Olivia" after the id, but the woman screaming on the other side of the door didn't sound like her. "It's the police. Is Detectives Stabler and Benson in there?"

Sasha threw Elliot a warning look. Don't try it. "No," she said in an innocent voice. "You startled me with your knocking. I'm Denise, Olivia's cousin. I'm in town for the funeral."

Cragen glanced at the detectives. "Olivia has never mentioned a cousin," he said firmly.

Huang shook his head behind the ESU personnel. "That's Olivia," he said. "She may be throwing her voice or it may be a case of a personality disorder. I'm not sure, but that's Olivia."

"Take this slow," Cragen warned to the ESU guys "they are two of our own."

Inside the apartment, Elliot was trying hard to read the situation. Through the window, he could see the snipers lining up on the roof, taking position. He would die before he would let Olivia get shot in her own apartment.

"Sasha, the snipers are out." There has to be a way to trigger her mind, to get Olivia back. He tried to think.

She swiveled her head toward the window. What the fuck? Who the fuck did these people think they are?

"They're going to shoot me? Fuck them all, I am Sasha! Miserable twits, they couldn't even figure out my plan," The phone rang, cutting her off. "Who the hell is that? No one calls that miserable Olivia, unless it's work…or you." She threw an accusatory look toward her captive.

"It's probably the hostage negotiator," he said calmly. Sasha walked over to the end table and snatched up the phone. "Yes?" she answered sweetly.

"This is Doctor Huang, who am I speaking to?" Cragen, Fin and Munch huddled around Huang while he spoke. After a quick consensus, they thought Huang would have a better chance of connecting with Olivia than the negotiator. They listened intently.

Sasha rolled her eyes. "It's that annoying shrink," she said in a low voice to Elliot. "I don't have time for this," she said turning her attention back to the phone. "Elliot and I need to talk. I need to talk to him, I can't tolerate all these interruptions!"

"Okay," Huang said reasonably. "Is there anyway I can speak to Elliot? Just so I can confirm that he is alright. I'm sure he is anxious to get back to you."

She threw the phone at Elliot, who caught it with both hands. "Talk to the man," she huffed.

Clearing his throat, he spoke into the receiver. "Stabler."

"Elliot, are you alright? Can you give us a read on the situation?"

He adopted a conversational tone. Sasha was watching him like a hawk. "Oh yeah, Sasha and I are just hanging out, having a little talk about our relationship. I tell ya, there really is no need for the snipers."

"Elliot, repeat Sasha's name if it really is Olivia," Huang directed.

"Yes, her name is Sasha," he said easily. "I really have to go now."

Huang clicked off. "Just as I suspected. Olivia suffers from dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder, the more common term. This… Sasha is fully aware of her, but Olivia herself is most likely unaware that she exists."

"So…" Fin was trying his best to get a handle on this new information. "She just turns into Sasha when she wants to murder someone? Why can't Olivia just stop her?"

"Olivia most likely enters into what is called a pyschogenic fugue state," Huang explained. "Olivia herself experiences a blackout, during which Sasha emerges as a fully functional being. Olivia would have no memory of ever being Sasha."

"So how do we get her to turn back into Olivia?"

"An extreme stressor," he replied. "We need to shake her up."

"How do we do that without hurting Elliot?"

Huang was thoughtful. "Maybe we can get Elliot to do it himself."


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Inside the apartment, Sasha didn't seem too concerned about what was going on outside the walls of the apartment. She was hungrily kissing Elliot, savoring the taste of his mouth against hers. Elliot was going along, shrewdly calculating how best to get him and Olivia out of the apartment to safety.

"Tell me Detective Stabler," she said breathily after they broke apart. "Does that bitch kiss like I do?"

Elliot stared deep into her eyes. "No, Sasha. She doesn't."

Sasha smiled wide. The devil gave up so easily. She won. He was hers.

"I'm surprised the last battle went the way it did," she said. "I was sure I was going o have to kill him e few more times before he gave in."

"Who gave in Sasha?"

She rolled her eyes. Seriously, she was definitely the more intelligent of the pair. "The devil," she said slowly, as if she were talking to a child. "He kept me away from you. He didn't want us to be together. But I won. We can do anything and everything we want Elliot."

Before Elliot could ask just who the devil was, the phone rang. Furious, she marched over to the phone and snatched it up. "WHAT! Stop fucking calling. We don't NEED you Doc!"

"Sasha," Huang said reasonably, "In order for us to leave you alone, we need to pass on a message to Elliot about his kids."

"Tell me, I'll tell him," she said irritably. Those kids. God, she was going to have to do something about that.

"No, they are here," Huang lied cringing. If she found out the truth, it could backfire. "They want to speak to him."

Getting her patience under control, she held the phone out to him. "It's your kids, lover," she said with false cheerfulness. "Make it quick okay?"

"Hello?"

"Elliot, in order to get Sasha to switch back to Olivia you need to traumatize her somehow," Huang instructed. "I'm not sure how you are going to do without harming yourself, but it's the only way we are going to get her out of there alive."

"Okay baby, I love you too," Elliot replied. He turned and looked at Sasha. She was posing for him against the couch. She was still naked and Elliot had an idea. He was probably going to go to hell for it, but he was out of ideas.

"Let's make love Sasha," he said seductively. "In the bedroom." He wanted to be far away from the eyes of the police. She grabbed his hand and tugged him into the bedroom. They fell together in a heap and rolled around the cool sheets, attacking each others mouths, Sasha greedily ripping off his clothes.

He couldn't get aroused, it was important not to. But Sasha's writhing body on top of him had him thinking about Olivia and it was hard not to be affected.

"What's wrong Elliot?" Sasha asked, the first seed of worry settling into her mind. He was slowing down, getting distracted.

He cleared his throat. It's now or never. Without the gun, he was positive he could take her. "Well…you're just not Olivia."

Sasha sprung off the bed, stunned. "What?" she gasped.

Elliot sat up, finally taking control. "I don't want you Sasha. I want Olivia. You could never give me what she gives me."

Sasha screamed and lunged at Elliot. He quickly dodged her blows and rolled off the bed, landing in a steady fighting stance. Sasha was just as quick. She flipped on her side and lashed her foot out towards his face. Elliot deflected most of the quick but was still knocked back a bit. He grabbed her prone leg and pulled her off the bed and laid on top of her, slapping away her blows.

"You bastard, you ungrateful bastard," she screamed. "Do you have any idea? Any idea!"

He punched her. He had to. He had to snap her back. I'm so sorry Olivia, he said in silent prayer.

The blow stilled her movements. Sasha raised her hand to her face and held the throbbing cheek.

"You'll pay for this Elliot," she said evilly, before closing her eyes and drifting off.

Breathing heavily, he checked her pulse. She was alive, just out. Elliot picked her up off the floor and laid her gently on the bed. He threw a cover over her naked body to protect from stares. He then he grabbed his shirt and went for the door.


	19. Chapter 19

Hey everyone. I just want to thank you all for the reviews, they are so funny and much appreciated. Especially you, SVU101, lol. The story is starting to wind down now, probably by Chapter 23 we'll see the ending. Thanks for staying with me.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Olivia paced nervously around the room in her prison issue garbs. She was in the interview room of the Bellevue Psychiatric Ward, awaiting Huang and Casey Novak's arrival. This was her first major session with them after being arrested. Her lawyer, Trevor Langan looked up from his notes.

"Olivia," he said firmly. "Calm down. You're making me jumpy."

She looked at him, still unable to believe how far she had fallen. "Calm down? These people used to be my friends. My co-workers. I used to be on their side."

"Regardless," he said, unconcerned. "You're up for the death penalty. Let me do all the talking."

"Olivia."

She turned towards the door, where Casey and Huang stood. Casey looked at her with such pity, Olivia wanted to scream. She remembered the arraignment, how Casey had refused to look at her,instead opting for some unseen spot above her right shoulder. She felt so betrayed. How could this happen to her?

Trevor kicked off the proceedings. "We are filing notice of an affirmative defense," he said in his brusque, arrogant manner. "Not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect."

Olivia shuddered at the words. Casey tore her eyes away from Olivia. "She murdered eleven people," she said shakily. My God, she thought. Am I really saying this about Olivia? She strengthened her voice. "I'm not sure a jury is going to buy that. And I'm not sure you can blame anyone for that."

"Oh, no? You have your own cops as witnesses," he said smugly. "She's sick Casey. Anyone can see that and the jury most definitely will. She suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder."

Casey threw Olivia a look. I have to do my job, no matter how much it hurts. "She can't get away without some type of punishment Langan. The city wants her head on a platter and I have to give it to them. Her acts have terrorized this city for the past 5 months. This…Multiple Personality Disorder defense is a crock."

Olivia was having a bit of trouble breathing. She was going to get the needle. She didn't understand what had happened to her mind, but she was going to get the needle. And Casey was gunning for her.

Huang was quietly observing Olivia. The confusion and despair was evident on her face. He knew her life depended on his diagnosis.

"You have your shrink right there," Trevor said, standing up and motioning Olivia to follow suit. "We'll schedule a 730 exam."

Huang and Casey watched while Trevor and the guard led Olivia from the room. Disturbed, Huang turned to Casey.

"I talked to her Casey. Elliot was in the room with her. I haven't done the exam yet, but I can tell you right now she's mentally unstable. She had no control over her actions. She doesn't even remember committing those acts!"

Casey blinked back the tears. "Dr. Huang," she began with difficulty. "As an officer of the court, it is my duty to uphold the law and to serve as advocate for the victims. I have to go after her. She killed eleven people in cold blood. I don't like it any more than you do. But this is what has to be."

Huang smiled sadly. "Do what you have to do. But I can tell you right now, you won't like my report."

Casey stood up from the table and headed for the door. Suddenly she whipped around and faced Huang.

"Listen to me Dr. Huang," she said, enunciating every word. "If you try to…misdiagnose Olivia's condition to get a lighter sentence for her, I will take your license and your freedom. Count on it."

As was Huang's way, he kept his emotions tightly under control. He calmly stood up and faced Casey. "Once the exam is scheduled, you'll have my findings first thing."

XXXXXXXX

"Bye Dad!" Dickie squealed on his way out of the apartment. Elliot managed to ruffle his hair before he ran past. The girls were much more clingy, Maureen, Kathleen and Elizabeth each managing to kiss him on the cheek and grab a part of his body, hanging on for dear life.

"Alright girls," Kathy said softly. Reluctantly, they peeled themselves off of their father and headed out the door. Elliot turned to Kathy, at a loss for words. She had graciously allowed them to stay with him the past couple weeks, believing that he needed his kids now more than ever. She couldn't have been more right.

"Thank you Kathy," he said quietly.

She bit her lip. "I'm so sorry Elliot," she said. "I know…I know how close you and Olivia were. I'm sorry it had to end this way."

Elliot smiled, a bit perplexed. "It?"

"Well…I think we both know 'it' may have interfered in our marriage…" Kathy came to a stop. It was over now, no need to bring up old wounds.

Elliot gave her a quick hug and said goodbye, shutting the door after her. He marveled at how empty the apartment felt. Having his kids here allowed him to shut out all thoughts of Olivia. He was lost to her now, the pain of it all sometimes making him question where he stood in this life. What now?

Their fling was brutally short, and Elliot regretted what could have been. Olivia had been gone for more than a month and he still couldn't bring himself to go visit her. He was due back to work next week, a new partner waiting for him. Huang suggested it would be good for him to see her, talk to her, before he went back to work, the work that so defined her and everything he knew of her. It would bring some normalcy to his life, he had said.

He sighed and looked out the window. Nothing would ever be normal again.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

Olivia stared at Huang with intense contempt. He stared back, his face unreadable. In the corner of the room was a video camera, a silent witness to the proceedings. They had been sitting there like that for more than 30 minutes, Olivia refusing to talk to him. She had gone into defiant mode. Who cares about her defense? Her life was a ruined mess, there was no way of getting it back now.

"Olivia," Huang said patiently. He expected this from her. He had his notes from his interview with Elliot and he knew what direction he needed to go in to get Olivia to open up. "It won't help your defense if you won't talk to me. Now, I'm prepared to sit here all day if you'd like."

Olivia sighed. "I am on trial for my life. You all say I've done things…horrible, despicable, inhumane things. You say you have all this evidence…you say I tried to hurt Elliott…" The mere mention of his name filled Olivia with infinite sadness. "What's there to talk about? I can't tell you about the…killings, because I don't know what to tell you. I can only tell you what I learned from my involvement in the investigation."

"Olivia, how do you feel about your mother's death?" he decided to take another route, they were stalling on the murders themselves.

Olivia blinked and bit her lip. With everything that had been going on in her life, she had been successfully able to block out her mother. Her poor mother, lying dead at the bottom of those subway steps while she made love to Elliot.

"I feel guilty," she said in a small voice. "I…I was involved in something and I should have noticed she hadn't come home."

"How did you feel about your mom being your roommate? Was it like when you were a child?"

"Of course not," she snapped. She didn't really want to talk about this. "I'm a little too big for her to beat up on now."

Huang picked up speed. Persons who suffered from MPD normally suffered emotional, physical or sexual abuse in their childhood. "Your mother hit you Olivia?"

"When she was drunk enough…but I could handle it," Olivia said quickly. She felt like a traitor, speaking ill of the dead. But she was tired, tired of it all. Maybe if she just answered his questions quickly, he would go away and leave her alone.

"What would bring on the attacks…besides the alcohol?"

"I don't know…just stuff," Olivia mumbled. "I mean, it wasn't just me. She would unload on her various boyfriends too."

"Did you ever have any boyfriends Olivia?"

She swallowed. She could feel the tears coming. "I had an older boyfriend once…see my mother was a professor at the University…she was fired not too long ago…but anyway, he was one of her students…"

Huang smiled. "Go on. Tell me about him."

Olivia shifted in her seat. "He wanted to marry me and I said yes. I thought it was my ticket to finally get away from her. But when she found out…"

"What did she do Olivia?"

"She threatened to get him kicked out of school…you see I was only sixteen at the time. But we argued and she started hitting me. And I lost it, I just lost it. I started fighting back, which I had never done before…but…"

Huang didn't want her to stop now. "But what, Olivia?"

Her face crumpled. "She said I could hit her all I want, but she would never let anyone have me, anyone love me." Olivia covered her face with her hands and cried softly. Her head was killing her, but she was a pro at this by now. "…I have to go lie down now."

Huang sat up, alarmed. "What's wrong? Is it your head? Do you have a headache?"

"Yes," she said weakly. "I need to go…"

Huang glanced at the video camera. This was better than he could have ever hoped. Olivia's alter, Sasha, was about to make an appearance. "No," he said loudly, firmly. "You need to stay put. We aren't finished."

Olivia threw him a bizarre look, through painfully narrowed eyes. "No, I'm done with this, I'm finished…" Olivia closed her eyes and slumped in her seat. Huang quickly signaled to the camera, alerting the officials watching not to enter the room. He waited in anticipation.

Her head popped up so quickly it nearly startled him. "Hello, Doctor," she said irritably.

"Hello…I don't believe we've met."


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Sasha furrowed her brow. "As if that were a tragedy. I'm Sasha, Doctor. And I'm glad that I have the opportunity to let you know how fucking annoying I find you."

She hopped out of her seat, and paced around the room. She was like a caged animal, sniffing the air, sizing up the space. "I have to get out of here," she hissed.

"Not until you tell me why you had to kill the devil," Huang said firmly. "You don't have the power here Sasha. I do."

"You miserable little man, shut the hell up," she felt anxious, the first signs of panic. She had to get out of this room. She felt like she was suffocating.

"Was your…was Olivia's mother the devil Sasha?" The women she killed were all older…it made sense.

"Nooooo," she said shaking her head, distracted. "It was the devil. He just took the shape of that bitch's mom. The devil, he takesmany shapes…I'm not feeling this room,asshole."

Huang watched while she started to pull at her hair. "Focus!" he commanded. It still didn't explain the men.

Sasha stilled, breathing heavily. She looked at his neck. What would it feel like to just take it and snap it –

"Why the men Sasha? The men didn't look like Olivia's mother."

Her ego got the best of her. "Aha!" she said triumphantly. She leaned over the table, hands spread. "You see…that's where he thought he beat me. He thought by taking over the shape of Serena's rapist he was being clever, but I knew better."

Huang was thoughtful. "You mean Olivia's father?"

"Yes!" she screamed, smacking the table. "Yes! Don't you see? Olivia has no idea what her father looks like! So he thought he had me beat, but I knew it was a matter of time before I foundhim...and I must have right?Because I WON."

Huang nodded in understanding. "But why did you feel like you needed to beat the devil? What did he have that you wanted?" He knew the answer, but he had to get it on tape.

"Why…Elliot of course," she said with cold rage. She sat down, her discomfort momentarily forgotten. "My love. We couldn't be together you see? Because the devil wouldn't let anyone have me. No one love me. But he did. He loved me."

"Elliot loved you?"

"HE DID!" she jumped up, knocking her chair over. "But he chose HER! He chose OLIVIA! She poisoned him against me."

"Sasha, please calm down," Huang said, momentarily frightened. He warred between getting her under control and learning the truth.

"Do you know what I did so that we could be together?" Sasha cried. "I went one on one with the devil, but what did Olivia do? Nothing. She just sat there, going through the motions. And it's always been that way Doc, always. She would let Serena hit her, she would let Serena terrorize her, she would mope and get depressed over being a child of rape, but not me, not ever! I was the stronger one, yetchose her. Well you know what? Miss Olivia can kiss her ass goodbye. I am sick of competing with someone who is so obviously beneath me! What this world needs is women who aren't afraid to fight for what they want, women who aren't afraid of shedding a little blood to get what they deserve. Now, get those damn guards and let me out of this room!"

Sasha felt exhausted after her tirade. She was sweating profusely and she could feel the change coming on and she fought it with all her might. Damn that Olivia. She screamed and hurled herself at the wall, kicking and screaming as she went down. Huang stood up alarmed, but held back. He watched as Sasha quieted, curled up inthe fetal position. Soon she quieted.

Huang walked over to Olivia and shook her violently. Groggily, she opened her eyes. Her whole left side was searing inpain."Oh, my God...my arm...Huang…I'm sorry…I'm sorry..."

He smiled. "No, Olivia. You did fine. You did just fine."


	22. Chapter 22

Alas, we have come to the end. I apologize to those who wished for a "happy" ending for Olivia and Elliot, but I hope you can understand that it could never fit in with this story. Thanks to everyone for the reviews and comments, they were much appreciated.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - Epilogue

"…Casey, you gotta make this stick. Esterman killed his wife and his daughter."

"Elliot, you gotta give me more to win this! This isn't enough to compel Esterman's DNA."

Elliot blew out air in frustration. This lawyer was going to walk if they couldn't find a way to hold him.

"What if we pulled his DNA from United Blood Services," Detective Ed Green suggested. "He gave that up voluntarily."

Elliot and Casey nodded in approval. His new partner was up from the 27th precinct, and he was proving to be a talented detective.

"Elliot," Cragen called out, "in my office please."

He nodded to Casey and Green and headed into the captain's office. He saw Huang sitting on the edge of the desk. He immediately fought the urge to escape.

"What's up Cap?" he asked neutrally.

"Huang wanted to speak with you," Cragen explained, "and since you have been avoiding him, he asked me to assist."

Elliot rolled his eyes, but he didn't counter. It was true. Ever since Olivia's proceedings he had been avoiding the psychiatrist like the plague.

Olivia. He really should be thanking the doctor. Because of him and his session tapes with her, Casey and the state were forced to offer Olivia a plea, 25 years to Life with possibility of parole, to be served in a mental health facility where she could get the treatment she so desperately needed.

"I'll leave you two alone," Cragen said, exiting the room.

"What do you want Huang?" Elliot asked irritably.

Huang smiled. He could really be annoying sometimes, Elliot thought. "When was the last time you went to visit Olivia, Elliot?"

"…I haven't."

"My point exactly."

Elliot smirked, he hoped convincingly. "I don't make a habit of visiting perps in prison."

Huang stood up and crossed his arms and approached Elliot. He cocked his head. "I can see how she would be a perp to any other detective. But to you? I find that somewhat surprising."

He was losing his patience. "Look Doc, this is none of your business. My thought process is none of your business. If you have anything to say to me about one of my cases then fine. If not, let me get back to my job," Elliot spun around angrily and reached for the door.

"She asks about you. She asks about you all the time."

The psychiatrist's soft voice stopped him cold. He had spent the last year erasing every memory, every thought he had of Olivia. Or at least tried to.

Huang walked up and stood behind Elliot. "You see it everyday Detective," he began, "people who are so damaged by their childhood, by their past, that they are affected in the mind as well as the body. You see it everyday. Because she is Olivia, she doesn't deserve your compassion and understanding?"

"She murdered eleven people Huang," Elliot responded, teeth clenched. He rested his head against the cool, smooth wood of the door. "One of which was my aunt. What about that? Can you tell me about that? How could I have not known? How can two people be as close as Olivia and I and I not know something like that?"

"As crazy as it sounds, it was a total coincidence that Sasha picked your aunt…not that it makes it any better. The Olivia you knew was Olivia, Elliot. Her alter, or personality, was Sasha, a totally different entity than her. She doesn't even know Sasha personally, just from the notes I've given her from our sessions." Huang was thoughtful. "Let me ask you something Elliot. How much of this do you blame on yourself?"

Elliot finally looked at the doctor, his eyes bright with tears. "She did this because of me…I was the reason she killed all those people, to be with me, to have me. Maybe if I would have…made a move before…"

Huang shook his head. "It's not your fault Elliot. You weren't the cause, you were more of a factor, an object for Sasha's obsession. Olivia was kept from the affection of others by her mother. So the source of Olivia's abuse became Sasha's focus. You have to know it was the abuse she suffered as a child that caused this disorder, not you."

Elliot rubbed his chin. "I fell in love with her Huang," he whispered. "She was my best friend in the world and I lost her."

"You haven't lost her," Huang said quickly. "Yes, you will never have the relationship that you pictured for the two of you, but you can still have a relationship. You were a very important part of her life Elliot. Don't turn your back on her now."

Elliot nodded, but wouldn't budge. "Are we done here?"

Huang reached into his jacket and pulled out a slim white envelope. Passing Elliot on his way out of the office, he held the envelope out to him.

"What's…" he stopped. His name was scrawled on the front, in Olivia's handwriting.

"She wanted me to give you this, Detective."

Elliot watched him leave, absently fingering the letter.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia was busy annihilating her fellow cellmate at chess when the guard came for her, announcing that she had a visitor.

"Lucky Cara," Olivia taunted.

"Yeah, yeah," her cellmate said, rolling her eyes. "Just hurry back will ya?"

Olivia quickly got up and followed the guard. She didn't bother to ask who her unexpected visitor was. She knew it had to be Huang, Fin, Munch or Cragen. She had even gotten a visit from Casey once, but that proved to be way too awkward for both of them to promise any future meetings. She appreciated the detectives dearly for standing by her side, even though she knew it was very difficult for them to work it out morally within themselves. Munch and Huang found it the easiest to accept her, Huang always bringing her gifts, Munch always finding some way to make her laugh.

Olivia walked into the visiting room and stopped cold. Elliot looked up from his chair, a nervous set to his features.

"Hel…hi Olivia," he said, stammering.

Olivia was slack jawed. She never in her wildest dreams expected him to visit her. Did he really read the letter?

Despite the bizarre circumstances, he couldn't help noticing how beautiful she was. She had gained a bit of weight, but it fit her frame very well. Her hair was longer than he had ever seen it, at least an inch past her shoulder.

Elliot coughed uncomfortably. Olivia shook herself out of her reverie and gingerly took a seat across the table from him. "Hi Elliot," she said softly.

He stared everywhere but at her. This was ridiculous, he thought. What were they supposed to talk about? Hey Olivia, for the past year I've been busy putting away the scum of the earth…oh? That's right. Some of my more esteemed clients you may have met here. What a coincidence, small world. But he was here for a reason, no turning back now.

He opened his jacket and pulled out the letter. He tossed it on the table. Olivia was shocked and puzzled to see that it was unopened.

"What is this? Return delivery?" she joked weakly.

"No," he said, his eyes on the envelope. "I don't know what it says in that letter. But something tells me it's something that you would rather tell me in person. So, I'm giving you the opportunity."

Olivia smiled sadly, her eyes starting to water. "You know, Elliot…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for so many things. And I can understand why you stayed away. But don't do this. Don't mock me to make yourself feel better."

Elliot chuckled softly. He looked at her finally. "I have been trying for a year to get you out of my mind Olivia. Everything we had. Everything that should have been…I need to hear this from you."

Olivia stared deep into his eyes. Okay. This was okay. The tears were falling more freely now. "Do you remember that case we worked on…Plummer? The man who killed those people to get back at me? And you were worried about me and had those cops detail me? Don't get me wrong, I was so angry with you, I wanted to smack you. But I fell in love with you that night. And I was afraid to let you in when you came to my apartment that night because I was afraid of this newfound vulnerability and wasn't exactly sure what it was at the time. I'm not good at this, I never have been. I didn't want to fall in love. Especially, not with you. You… you with the beautiful family and so much to lose.

"But this letter..." she said, picking it up, "it's a thank you. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for being my partner. Thank you for teaching me so much about the world. Thank you for giving me one night of indescribable passion. And thank you for showing me what I had never known before – what it's like to be loved and cared for."

She took a shaky breath, setting the letter down. "And the letter was an apology. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being responsible for your Aunt's death. I'm sorry for bringing you so much pain. I'm sorry for putting your life in danger. I'm sorry for not being the person you thought I was. I'm sorry that I can never be the person you so deserve. And most of all, I'm sorry that I made it impossible for you to love me."

Elliot reached over and took her hands in his. He looked deep into her eyes and for the first time in a year he felt at home. "No Olivia," he said, smiling through his own tears. "You made it impossible for me not to love you."

THE END


End file.
